IF YOU WANT MY VOTE… It’s Going to Cost You Trash Cans

My name is Henri and I have a voice! Bark Wolf.

My name is Henri and I have a voice! Bark Wolf.

Voters across the nation headed to their polling places to cast ballots on November 4th and I, as a proud American and resident of Chestnut Hill was one of them. I like many others I know, feel they don’t have a voice in our Democracy. Voting is supposedly where citizens have power to help create the change I want to see.

All candidates had a hodgepodge of issues and interests and were competing for the attention of an anxious electorate, with voters set to have their say. I am proud to say I cast my vote for Democrat Tom Wolf for Governor, who was victorious might I add, because we believe in the core issues needed. Here are a few:

To rebuild the middle class and ensure fairness for ALL Pennsylvanians, that includes ME. 
Harnessing natural gas, my friends and I can help.
To implement policies to maintain our clean water and air. I love to drink from Pastorious Park’s pond but doggie doo doo not picked up is stinking up the air. That needs to be fixed ASAP. I think the SPCA would agree.
Most importantly, we speak the same language Wolf Woof. My fellow canines believe Tom will hear what we have to bark about. What do we want to bark about… I’ll yelp it in a minute.

All of the above goals are great. I stand by my choice but I was extremely dismayed when stepping into the ballad box, I realized I was not being represented by any party. My platform doesn’t exist, Canine rights! What am I barking about… trash cans. We have a dreadful crisis in the dog walking community in our beloved Chestnut Hill. There is a vexing absence of trash cans.

This has been bothering me and my pet, I mean owner for a long time. It should be my daily constitutional right for my constitutional to be dispensed of by my owner in this fashion: let me poop, scoop and toss in a timely manner so that we can have a lengthy dignified romp. That is not the case. Most days I have an urgent need to eliminate (poop) a few sniffs out the door at the beginning or our walk. Being law abiding citizens, the poop is scooped with a bag that is then tied closed. We do not defecate and depart my debris, leaving it for someone else to step in or pick up. That is not doggy dignified.

Here’s the rub. Once scooped, my walker must carry the bag of pungent poop for blocks because there is no where to dispense of it. Where are the trash cans? This is mortifying. How is one able to comfortably say howdy neighbor holding a stinky bag? I am a pedigree and find this undignified. I speak for all breads mixed or purebred. This situation has caused my walks to be shortened at times and that is unacceptable. A few walks our behavior has been unbecoming. How so? More than once we have seen a trash can on someones driveway or yard area and discarded said feces in it. We feel horrible doing so. Some folks are kind about allowing us to use their can. We like them and walk by if in the area and necessary. We don’t like doing it. Thursday mornings are the best because it’s trash day. Trash cans galore. Yippee!!

My point is, on behalf of the canine community and most walkers, we feel it is our right to eliminate the elimination in a timely manner and not have to parade our poop while walking. Perhaps a petition is needed by pets for a trash can policy to be initiated. I assume this is a local matter and it would best addressed for discussion at a Chestnut Hill community or board meeting. Perchance one of the elected officials can relate. Nationally, we believe feeding the needy and health care trumps trash cans.

Chestnut Hill is a dog loving town. It’s quaint, clean and the homeowners take great pride in their curb appeal. Let’s keep it that way with fresh air, clean streets and doody free dog walkers. I will contact Councilwoman Cindy Bass – 8th District: The functions of City Council influence a wide range of public affairs in Philadelphia and directly impact the quality of life for its citizenry, which includes dogs. Wolf Woof!

“BJ’s WAS NO BARGAIN… One Product Cost Me A $$ Plumber”

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” – Woody Allen

It's Not Sugar- Neighbor Lends TP

It’s Not Sugar- Neighbor Lends TP

Everyone wants a bargain right? Money’s tight and we all love a deal. I thought I found the big daddy of savings. Walking out of the store I was so proud of myself. I felt like I just won “The Price Is Right.” I outsmarted the corporations that over price products I resent. The products they sell we need, they know it and mercilessly overcharge us. Using these product is like washing money down the drain, literally. Well folks what I won was “The Price Is Wrong.” I was wrong, oh so terribly wrong and I learned a very expensive lesson. What’s the product I begrudge,?… toilet paper!

My son’s school was having a fund-raiser. There was a sign up sheet and I saw candy. That can’t be to expensive so I snatched it up lickity split. I have a membership to BJ’s that I never use. Considering the bulk bags of candy I relinquished myself to provide, I thought that the warehouse of a store Bj’s would be the best bargain. Wrong, candy caused my commode to explode. Here’s what happened.

Most every product costs $10. or more, it’s the bulk thing. I have a few staples I buy for my home that I could get there. Water, laundry soap and toilet paper. All three are my nemesis’. I grabbed my ridiculously high-priced candy (one bag was $20. hello, that’s not a bargain) and lugged my oversized cart down the oversized aisle to buy the oversized products that are over priced. Like I said, corporations have us by the balls or shall I say, in their pockets. I’m over it.

I swing around to the TP aisle and wham, I’m hit with sticker shock! Charmin, the one with the Bear, is my TP of choice. It was $29. I hung my head, took a breath, preparing to roll away when I spotted across the aisle a shelf of Bounty paper napkins, 200 for $9.00. BINGO, no one will see it but me and my boys. So I flipped off the Bear grabbed the Bounty and swaggered off. Little did I know the Charmin Bear was flipping me off and laughing as I walked away. For two weeks a bulk package of napkins sat next to the toilet. They wiped just great. One napkin a go. I was onto to something, this was a game changer.

It was the bi-annual, seasonal changing of the wardrobe’s day. It’s a brainless luxury chore. This requires laundry. I put an oversized load in the washing machine and went to work. When the cycle ended I descended my basement steps to find it flooded with blackish water. Oh Sxxx!

Bounty Napkins Blocker

Bounty Napkins Blocker

Being the hands on women that I’ve become, I tried to problem solve this myself. I walked out to my tiny manhole on the edge of my neighbors driveway and saw it was clogged with stones, sticks, and leaves. It’s also smashed in, must be the cars driving over it. I took my finger and tried to pull the debris out unsuccessfully, then I got a screw driver, not much better. The water started receding in the basement but I knew this was serious, I’ve been through this before. Hence my thinking thought of street plunging, yes you can do that people, I’ve done it, different house and it worked. What to do? It must be the leaves clogging the pipes right? So I called the Streets Department. Here’s what I was told: The Streets Department only comes if the manhole is in the street, it’s not their problem. What about the Water Department? The Water Department will come out to take a look at it for “inspection,” slap you with a fine and then you get your own plumber.

I started mopping, running up and down flights of steps, in and out of the house with “sludge” on me. This was too big for me. I had to throw down my plunger and call my plumber Matt Mazza.

Early the next morning which was a Saturday, the plumbers came. In my life Murphy’s law always occurs on Friday’s, so I had to get up. My neighbors were having a yard sale while two plumbers and myself proceeded to stand around the manhole deliberating if it was mine. The plumbers didn’t think it was, my female intuition knew it was but it was in a precarious place. Due to insurance they didn’t want to touch it. The neighbors were as perplexed as us, so a hunt began. After pacing back and forth on my sidewalk looking for “my” manhole they began excavating my lawn with a screw driver stabbing my grass trying to hit metal, which never happened, because my manhole is on the edge of my neighbors driveway! By this point I was exhausted from the day before, anxious to get this problem fixed and frustrated with little patience. The pro’s were ready to go but oh no, I wasn’t going to let these guys leave. At that point, I’d take my chances and have them snake the neighbors in hopes that it was mine. Many a flush later, watching the bubbling brew, a decision was made to snake it at the basement pipe.

I stood there and watched as the snaking began . Once cleared, extracting the snake, we found the problem. It was clogged with slimy, mucky, black wet paper napkins and one piece of dental floss. I was asked if I had been flushing anything down the toilet other than TP, I wanted to lie (embarrassing) but didn’t. After a brief seminar, apparently TP has special chemicals on it that breaks down the paper, thus making it flushable. Who knew? I didn’t but now I do and you do too. Be careful what you bargain for, you might end up paying more than you bargained for.

THE UNFASHIONABLE SIDE OF FASHION… Where Fashion is REAL!

“Fashion fades, only style remains the same.” Coco Chanel

STEP INTO THE PARLOUR

Let’s get real about our bodies ladies and how we try to hide them with “fashion”

I don’t have a career, I had one until I had kids. Now I gig, meaning I work jobs. A snooty way to put it would be I’m a contractor or consultant depending upon the industry. Last month’s gig was in fashion. September is the kickoff of the Spring fashion shows in New York. It is the month when fashion designer’s show their seasons newly inspired creations in Bryant Park. Tents, filled with editors, stylists, designers, celebrities and socialites watch striking androgynous models prance the catwalk displaying the next ridiculously expensive couture clothing that few can buy but many can rip off, think Target.

Read more at http://1realgirlwriter.com

ON THE ROAD...